


You are as gorgeous as the stars, but I never really looked up at them

by The_Xephyr



Series: Green [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream loves Sapnap, How Do I Tag, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Jealous Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Jealous Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Pining, Song: Green (Cavetown), sapnap loves dream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:39:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Xephyr/pseuds/The_Xephyr
Summary: Sapnap loves Dream. Dream loves Sapnap. Dream is with George. Dream loved George.What can go wrong?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Skeppy/Badboyhalo
Series: Green [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191578
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	1. Green - Sapnap

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is based on the song Green by Cavetown  
> This is the link to the song if you want to check it out.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjr4wfnVmpE

We spent hours on the first day of the SMP, just fishing. I can't, for the life of me, remember what we were looking for. I think it was name tags, but I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last. You, an expert with a fishing rod, had to teach some of us how to fish. Callahan taught me while you taught George. I may not be able to remember what we were fishing for, but I remember how it felt to see you with your arms wrapped around him showing him how to reel his catch back in. I was so busy watching the two of you that I accidentally let a salmon go.

I found a flower forest today while looking for red mushrooms. I nearly picked some flowers for you. I thought a mix of lily if the valleys and cornflowers would look nice in that white vase you keep on your bookshelf. I thought it would match the picture hanging directly beside the shelf. You in that lime green sweater, George in that blue 404 shirt. You made me take that picture of you guys, if only I had known. But as I was bending down to pick a few, I remembered.

I know I always made fun of your sweatshirts for being bright green, but it was only to hide the fondness in my eyes. When the sun would hit your eyes just right and they'd shine nearly the same color as your sweatshirt. That gorgeous green color you love, the color I came to love.

Even if he can't see how gorgeous your eyes really are, you make an amazing couple. Perfect for each other. You bicker, but never really fight. Who in their right minds can talk for 12 hours straight? But I guess that makes the two of you just as crazy as each other.

I'm happy that the two of you finally got together. Scratch that. I'm so proud of you both for finally confessing to each other. I wish I got to see who confessed first. I had a bet with Karl and Quackity on who would first. Karl and I thought that it would be you, but Quackity insisted it would be George.

It hurts sometimes to look back and wonder if you remember how good friends we used to be. I think about it a lot. About how I ruined it. But I have to think back, it's the only part of you I have left.

I know that I was too blunt. Yelling that I was in love with you during a fight. I can't even remember what the fight was about, something petty I'm betting. I regretted it the second I said it. The way you looked up at me stunned, the way George's head shot up. I knew that I never stood a chance, and I know I was too blunt.

I left for a few days after I said that, I just couldn't cope with being rejected. I knew I didn't stand a chance, not after third-wheeling the two of you for years. I just had to get out of there. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran out the door, tears streaming down my face. I thought to go to Quackity or Karl's house, but I had kept my crush a secret from them and I didn't think that I would be able to tell them without breaking down, so I ran into the forest.

It was weird, I got so lost in the forest that I went in a massive circle and just ended up right back at the backdoor. Through the back window, I saw the two of you kissing against the kitchen counter. George was sitting up on the counter and you were leaning into him. It was hard, but I know you are happy, and that's all I want.  
All I've ever wanted.

That's when I went to Karl's home. I just needed someone who would listen to me and take me in for a few days. It was great, if I'm being honest, he listened to me, gave me some advice, gave me a room. And when Quackity came over, it was easy to pretend that everything was okay, that nothing had happened.

I had to go back eventually, I needed to get all of my stuff from my room. I just wish I had reacted better, maybe our friendship would have been repairable. You were leaning right where I saw you kiss him on the counter and me against the table across the room. You told me to stay, that we could work it out. You apologized to me for not seeing my feelings. I didn't mean it. Any of it. I just got so angry, because what does George have that I don't? A cute British accent? God, I was so disappointed in myself. How terrible it must have been for him to hear me say that.

I still feel guilty, but it's okay. I'll stay out of both of your ways, you deserve to be happy.

I know it might not sound like it, but I'm over you. It was hard, but I promised myself that I would, and I am. I just have to talk about it.

But, God, I still see you sometimes. I was in the nether last week just getting soul sand for blue lanterns, and I saw you walk out of a nether portal, and God, you look good in green. You stood out so much against the red hue of the nether. I couldn't help but hide behind a pillar and stare at you. You waited beside the portal, going through some of the chests until George walked through. He was wearing your black hoodie. And you looked so good with him.

I stood there hiding behind a pillar staring at the two of you, so proud of you. You looked so happy holding his hand. That's all I want, you to be happy.

I probably would have continued to watch you if Quackity hadn't announced that we had enough and it was time to go home. I was so focused on calming my heart and evening my breathing that I only noticed the ghast after it had thrown a fireball directly over our heads.

Karl swears he saw you wearing a white shirt with a flame on it. I know I left that shirt at your place, it was in the wash, and when I left, I forgot to grab it. If you really were wearing it, I hope you take care of it.

I hope you still think of me as your friend, even after the stunt I pulled in the kitchen. I hope you still think of me in a good way. I hope that maybe one day we can repair this divide and at least be friendly, if not friends.

I hope he truly loves you and that you truly love him.

I hope you feel happy

That’s all I want

That's all I want


	2. You - Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this a series, but I don't entirely like the way I wrote these chapters: looking back, with no dialogue. The next chapter will be in the present, so the day after where this chapter ends, and it will have dialogue.

George is amazing. I know this. I’ve always known this. But lately, it’s been getting harder and harder to convince myself. We’ve been fighting so much over such petty things. Fighting behind closed doors, yelling and screaming at each other. Sometimes I can’t remember why I asked him out. Sometimes I can’t remember why I loved him.

It started the day you left, it got worse and worse, until last week. I asked him on a date hoping to fix something, anything to make our relationship last. We were supposed to go to the beach and have a picnic while watching the sunset. The fastest way to get to the place where I had set up the picnic was through the nether. That was my first mistake of the day. I went through the portal first and George got distracted for a couple of minutes, staying in the overworld. I dont think you know that I saw you, but I mean, you were just hiding behind a soul sand pillar. You were literally not even fully behind it, I pretended to go through some chests that were around the portal, just watching you. George finally walked through the portal, so I got up, tearing my eyes off of you. I stalled there for a few seconds, not knowing when the next time I would see you would be.

Quackity came up to you and you walked away with him. I started leading George around the path to get to the portal that would lead to the beach, we could hear a ghast and I thought it would be romantic and impress George if I hit the fireball back at it and killed it on the first shot. As we turned around the bend, we saw it wasn’t angry at us but at you and Quackity. George pulled me back and started talking about how we hadn’t seen you in such a long time, and that it was nice to see you happy with Quackity. He asked me if I had heard anything about the two of you getting together. We both stood there watching as you hit that fireball back and killed it. I was so impressed, I really don’t think it should be half as attractive as I found it to be.

I got so jealous of Quackity when you ripped the bottom of your shirt off to wrap it around a wound on his arm. I know I gawked, how could I not? You had lifted your shirt up and even from up on the ledge we were standing on we could see your six-pack. That was my second mistake.

George pushed me gently to continue on, but I saw the scowl on his face. We didn’t even get halfway to the next portal before we were arguing. I admitted to him that I missed you, thinking he did too. My third mistake. While George did miss you, he was still angry from my staring. Angry that I didn’t defend him from what you said all those months ago. I tried to calm him telling him that it was just that its the first time we’ve seen him in months. He asked why I still wear the shirt you left, that’s when I knew this argument went deeper than just me staring at you. I told him that it was like losing a brother, a statement that made my heart hurt just to say. He noticed, immediately calling me a liar and storming off back in the direction of our home.

I just sat there, legs dangling off of the edge, about 10 blocks away from the ice path. Just sitting and thinking. Because Gods, if I had known you had loved me before that moment when you had yelled at me in the kitchen, everything would be different. I had asked George out 2 days before. 2 days. Right after you, Quackity, and Karl had placed bets on who would confess first. That moment solidified the thought in my head that you didn’t like me in the way I liked you.

You’ve always been the worst at keeping secrets and hiding things. You would always tell me what you got me for Christmas and my birthday because you couldn’t keep it a secret. Why is your love for me what you choose to hide?

I know that I hid that I loved you from you, so I understand why you hid it. We were both scared of the other not reciprocating and losing each other. We were in love with each other and we still lost each other. I tried to get you to stay when you returned to collect your things, but I understand why you didn’t. I know you saw me kiss George, he saw you walking away. I would have done the same.

I don’t know how long I would have sat there staring out into the nether just thinking if Sam hadn’t come across the ice path and found me.  
George and I broke up that night.

We couldn’t exactly sleep in the same room, and George’s old room had been turned into a chest room. He refused to move out of the room we had been sharing, and I figured it was either your old room or the couch. And a bed is always better than a couch. Especially when the bed comes with the guarantee that I won’t find crumbs and wrappers.

The whole bed faintly smelled like you, which should have been my cue that the couch was better. I was already confused, sleeping in a ridiculously warm bed that smelled like you made it worse.

I left as soon as I could the next day, I went to Bad and Skeppy’s new house. A distraction from everything would help me clear my head. So I helped them build for a few days, but their fond bickering and clear adoration for each other made me long for that even more than I already had been.

But of all people to come and visit with supplies and lunch, why did it have to be you? You were so friendly to me that it hurt, I hurt you, but you still can smile and joke with me?

I forgot how much warmth you constantly radiate. Friendly, kind, and caring enough to warm anybody’s heart, within minutes it felt like no time at all had passed. And how could I not immediately feel comfortable when you smile at me that way.

You asked about how George and I were doing, and I could see that you were genuinely surprised when I told you. I knew you wanted to ask why, but you didn’t. I was so thankful you didn’t ask, I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to lie while looking right into your eyes. I asked if you had anyone, and you hinted at being with Karl. While I had hoped that you had moved on, it still hurt. I was happy for you though, and I’m sure I managed to keep my face as happy as I wanted it to be because you never mentioned anything.

When I told you that I was staying with Bad and Skeppy to get away from George, you insisted on taking me in, going as far as to grab my wrist and threaten to drag me back with you. As if I could say no while staring into your eyes.

You helped me pack my things, joking about it when you saw your shirt among the things I had. We said goodbye to Bad and Skeppy and I thanked them for letting me stay. Skeppy winked at me and nodded towards you, thankfully you didn’t see him. How he knew, I will never know, but even Bad seemed to know, so maybe I’m just worse at hiding my feelings than I realized.

You made me feel right at home as soon as we walked in the door, showing me around, animatedly explaining some of the decor. It’s a lovely house, but I paid more attention to you than the house, if I’m being completely honest. You moved me into the room next to yours. I immediately noticed that you and Karl had separate rooms. It nearly got my hopes up until I realized that you probably had a crush on him.  
You didn’t share a room, yet.

You helped me get settled in, which I thought was so sweet. I didn’t notice that Quackity lived with you until dinnertime. I’m not sure if he just wasn’t home, or was being quiet. They assured me that I could stay as long as I liked and that they would help me grab the rest of my things.

It wasn’t until I got into bed that night that I realized that I hadn’t missed George. My feelings for you were always what held me back from George, but I still love you, and you’ve moved on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes or places where the writing could be smoother, let me know. Thank you for reading!


	3. Talk - Sapnap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I was doing school work.
> 
> On a side note, only one of my closest friends hasn't read at least the first chapter, so that's embarrassing. So If anyone reading this knows me irl, no you don't.

Why did I do that? I have no idea why I would do that. I do, I know exactly why, he was so handsome up close that I didn’t want to be away from him. But to invite him to live with us? And here I was thinking I was over him.

I was doing so well yesterday as well. Joking about having a crush on Karl right to his face, making his ears go red. But no, here I am staring right up at my ceiling right next to his room. I know where the bed is positioned in his room, right up against the very same wall my bed is against. He’s probably still asleep, feet away from me, with only this stupid wall separating us. 

God damn it. It’s been months, so much for being over him. He broke up with George a few days ago. A few days, and here I am thinking things like that. I really don’t have any shame.

I decided I should get up, try to make breakfast, and come up with a plan for the day. I’d only managed to put on my joggers when Quackity burst into the room already yelling about how I needed to help him with something. I agreed, not fully listening to anything he was saying, just trying to find a clean shirt. I was so focused on trying to find anything that smelled kind of clean that I didn’t notice him at my doorway, I only noticed when Quackity loudly asked for his opinion. I immediately tuned back into the conversation, muscles tensing. I could feel how red my ears were. I shoved the closest shirt on, not wanting to stay shirtless for any longer when he was right there.

The shirt actually ended up not smelling too badly, but someone in this house should really do the laundry more often. Breakfast in this house was always more of a grab-and-go than a sit-down and actually cook ordeal, so the three of us grabbed whatever before leaving. Dream had an apple, Quackity had a bagel, and I took a couple of cookies. 

During the walk to the nether portal, I guess he asked us to help him netherite mine, I really should pay more attention to their conversation. 

I got shaken out of my thoughts by a strong hand landing on my shoulder, “You okay dude? You’ve been out of it all morning,” Dream asked, his eyes staring straight into mine, he looked worried. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired,” I probably replied a little too quickly considering he narrowed his eyes, and Quackity turned around slightly to give me a questioning glance before announcing that our destination was changing and we would no longer be going to the nether. He quickly sped up walking towards a forest saying how we would need more wood for the house since we had a new person living there. Dream chuckled, asking how that worked, seen as they wouldn’t need to expand to fit him. 

They continued to bicker back and forth but I had tuned both of them out the second Dream had chuckled. I knew that I would have to get used to being around him, but how could someone’s chuckle be that attractive? I took a deep breath because, if I could do this smoothly yesterday, I could today. 

I tuned back into their conversation and picked up on the banter, bickering with them and making sure that I acted completely normal.

* * *

“This tree!” Quackity yelled.

“What’s different about this tree than the past hundred that have looked identical?” I asked, already getting my axe out.

“Its vibe is just good, man” He laughed before walking away and taking Dream with him.

It felt nice to just chop into the tree while alone with my thoughts for a minute. I was doing better than I thought it would be, talking to Dream was easy. Having Quackity filled any silences, leaving no space for awkwardness. 

I was on my second tree when Quackity walked up, a mischievous look on his face. I put my axe down and he grabbed my arm pulling me around a couple of trees. I protested the whole time, but he didn’t let go of me. He let go of my arm in a small clearing of trees, Dream was leaning against one of the trees, aiming a crossbow at a tree across the clearing. He put it down, the arrow still loaded, when he saw us.

“I know it’s only been a day, but you guys are going to talk right now. You both know what I mean so don’t act confused,” he said holding his hand up at us, “Karl and I agreed that it would bring a lot of tension into the house if you didn’t have the conversation son, so we agreed that I’d take you to the nether and ‘lose you’ so you’d talk. But Saps over here wants to zone out and that’s not how to stay safe around explosives, so here we are. Chop wood and talk. Bye!” He laughed loudly as he ran back the way that we had come. 

I looked back at Dream, finding that he was staring at me. He cleared his throat and motioned towards the ground. We both sat and he immediately started pulling up tufts of grass. He opened his mouth before immediately closing it. He did that a couple of times before I decided to rescue him.

“You should have told him that this was a terrible time for this talk, you just broke up with George, you don’t need any more stress. Especially not from us,” I said staring at his hands and the grass he was pulling up. 

“I should be honest so that you understand,” He said throwing the last blades of grass to the side, and dusting his hands off. “George and I aren’t going to just fix our relationship. Me leaving the house wasn’t just to help things calm down before we got back together. We had a bad fight, I don’t think anything will be able to fix it, not that I really want to.” He took a deep breath, turning his head to look at me, then completely upwards to stare at the sky. 

“I don’t know how honest to be. Do I tell you the reason for most of our fights or do I try to repair our friendship first” Dream said talking out loud, I honestly don’t think that I was meant to hear that.

“I can guess the reason for your fights from the way you worded that, Dream. I-I’m really sorry,” I stuttered, I really hadn’t meant to mess up their relationship. No matter how many times during the first few weeks away from them I had wished for them to break up, I really hadn’t meant it. I thought they were happy. I wanted Dream to be happy.

“It wasn’t your fault. I missed you and George thought it was better without you in the house. We broke up because we saw you in the nether. I was surprised- the whole relationship I just kept thinking that he’s amazing so I’m lucky to have him. It was just wrong. There was something wrong.” He looked like he was honestly struggling to choose his words like he wanted to tell me everything, but he was scared too. It made sense, they had broken up not long ago, of course, he would have trouble talking about it. “I don’t want to talk too much about this but I’ve already said it so, we argued a lot because of what you said before you left, and he didn’t like it that I tried to stop you from leaving a second time. He didn’t like it that we saw you in the nether, he definitely didn’t like it when I stared at you, you didn’t notice, but now I’m telling you for some reason. I should really shut up.” He laughed lightly as he finished his ramble, staring at me trying to decipher my reaction.

I knew my ears were bright red, I could feel the heat radiating from them. I just hoped my face wasn’t half as red as my ears. He could have been staring at me simply because he hadn’t seen me in a while, I had done the same thing, on the same day. Yet hearing him say that made it feel like it could be more. Made me want it to be so much more. 

“If we are being honest, I was staring at you that day too. I was, umm, surprised to see you after such a long time.” He laughed loudly cutting me off.

“You barely tried to hide it Sap, I could see you behind that soul sand, you weren’t hiding.” It was my turn to laugh, purely out of embarrassment. 

“You were going through chests, I didn’t even know you saw me.” You were wearing white in a dark biome, it was really easy to spot you,” He was still giggling, and I knew my face was absolutely red. So much for trying to keep it a secret that I wasn’t completely over him. He could clearly tell, and it’s not like I tried to explain. 

I looked away trying to calm the blush across my cheeks, but when I turned back I found him staring at me, which immediately made me blush again. This time both of us erupted into laughter.

“Come on, let’s start heading back,” he said once the laughing fit had subsided, standing up and dusting himself off before holding a hand out to help me up. 

* * *

Karl turned to face Quackity as soon as both had left the living room to go to their rooms.

“They definitely had the wrong conversation, didn’t they?” He asked.

“Yup,” Quackity said softly laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes or places where the writing could be smoother, let me know. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I love all of you, you guys give me so much serotonin.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2 am after inspiration struck. This is my first fanfiction, any criticism is welcome. Thank you for reading!!


End file.
